How I Stopped Derailing My Own Life (& You Can Too!)

“I don’t need this negativity in my life” – probably my main theme of 2017. Unfortunately, I did have time for it, and half the time I created it. It was the beginning of me derailing my own life and falling into an abyss of negativity.

It’s all too common that you may spend a lot of time trying to figure out where you went wrong and who was to blame for your unhappiness. Well, considering I’ve been there – it’s finally time to cut that sh*t out.

6 ways to stop derailing your amazing life:

Learn to (1) forgive those that never apologized. This one hits home for me the most. There were so many people that I blamed for my unhappiness and felt I deserved apologies from. It became all too consuming to deal with. I had a stroke of realization that there was no need to keep holding on to what was irrelevant. So what if they apologized? It wouldn’t actually change anything.

As humans, we are hell bent to feel like others owe us. In actuality, no one owes us anything. Be responsible for your own happiness. There is no way to achieve it unless you let go of all wrongs. Begin forgiving people that wronged you – with or without their initiated apologies.

Let it go and (2) learn from it. Learn from your mistakes and don’t be the person that repeatedly makes mistakes about the same thing. I would say I am getting better at learning to now repeat the same mistakes in my life. Because of this, I find I am more organized, better prepared, and actually making progress. It’s such a financial, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual time-suck to not learn from your mistakes. Learn to honor your boundaries and stop making repeated mistakes that keep you stagnant.

(3) Show gratitude each day. I found I took too much of my time focusing on the wrong aspects of my life. It caused me not to appreciate the phone calls my family made to me, the skills I excelled in, and the accomplishments I’ve made thus far.

Showing appreciation for something each day can really change your mindset. A lot of the time we focus hard on the negative and this can be consuming. I challenge you to start focusing on the areas of your life that are great. Positive consumption is much better than the latter and gives you the space and energy you need to tackle your problems.

Please, (4) stop multitasking – that’s why nothing gets completed. I will never ever say that I am good at multitasking. It’s actually the thing I do the worst! I know how things can spiral from multitasking and I continuing to manage my time more effectively working on one thing at a time.

Learn to give a task 100% of your attention and stop multitasking. Multitasking is a recipe for not meeting deadlines, not providing quality work and adding on to your stress.

(5) Keep doing what you love and do it at least twice a week. Over time we forget that we have hobbies and activities that we enjoy. For me, I love writing, painting, and fitness – so I make sure I get it done each week. I found this elevates me more than anything, especially when I am going through a rough patch.

Don’t be hyper-focused on the things that are not fruitful to your happiness. Instead, be gluttonous in what fills your soul and promotes your best version of you.

(6) Be in tune with your f*cking self. And, stop worrying about everyone’s opinions and what they think about what your life. Seriously, stop investing your magic in the wrong people. Spend the amazing energy giving yourself a needed tune up!

This list can go on, but these 6 points are good places to start freeing you from going overboard. Despite your challenges, take advantage of your magic and don’t allow yourself to fall on the wayside.

If you want to add some advice, share it in the comments below!


  1. It’s interesting because in one of my psychology classes research has stated that we actually aren’t really good at multitasking like we think we are. You are so write about these though. I need to get back to what I love doing. I lost sight of that moving out to DC. Also I am just learning how to be in tune with myself and not care about anyone’s opinions! Thanks cousin. Great article.

    1. Your welcome love! I think a lot of the time we are caught up with getting it all done here and now that we end up screwing ourselves over in the end – or the outcome wasn’t as great as we intended it to be.

      I am still learning to make sure I stop multitasking and really focus on one thing at a time.

      I am sure you can get back into your own swing gf! You got it!

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