I don’t know about you but 2017 was rough as f*ck. Don’t misconstrue my statement as a (complete) negative. I appreciated the hell out of these last 365 days!
My experiences were the epitome of my current successes. I started the year off with bright eyes, a positive outlook, and loads of opportunities. New love brewed, self-love grew. I spoke up for myself, enjoyed my personal life again, made adventures, and opened my heart to new friendships. I definitely won’t act like there wasn’t frustration, tears shed, epic fights, and self-doubt too. Despite the good fights, 2017 was a year of vulnerability.
2018 is going up and when I tell you it’s going to pop, it’s the truth! Here are some lessons learned from 2017.
- Acknowledge and own your boundaries. Don’t allow others in your space that do not honor you in abundance. You owe yourself boundaries in your life, your relationships, and your career. 2017 made this the most crucial part of ending my year strong.
- Treat yo self! In moderation, it’s great to treat yourself. I say this because I took treating myself to an extreme and spent the end of the year on the struggle bus. Learning to responsibly treat yourself would be a lesson to learn sooner than later. Award yourself for your hard work, but not to a point that it cripples you in the long run.
- Work a little each day on your aspirations. Yeah, we all f*cking work and have lives, bills, financial issues, and whirlwinds of f*ckery that happen through the year. Everyone has some sh*t they are going through, so don’t use your life as an excuse to put off working on your dreams. Be hungry for it and really make time for yourself. You make time for whats the most important to you – Netflix, the ‘Gram, or your f*cking goals.
- Be dope and be humble. A past manager of mine once told me that I needed to give myself more credit for my success. From that day, I made an effort to celebrate my dopeness and continue to be open to learning more.
- Trust your process. Stop trying to catch up with everyone around you. Stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. Fall in love with your f*cking process. It may be slow, it may be excruciatingly difficult, it may feel like your time isn’t going to come – but if you do what I said in the previous points, you will make your process work.
- Stop feeling the need to explain yourself! Like I continue to say, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, just live your life!
- Understanding and condoning are two separate things. There is a level of respect that you have for others and for yourself. Please don’t confuse understanding for condoning. Understand your colleagues, peers, and higher ups. But NEVER let understanding be the source of condoning certain behavior that is unacceptable. When it comes to you, they better put some respect on it!
- Work is work is work – so keep it work. I know I’ve told you this is the biggest challenge I face. It is easy to be invested in the work you do, especially if you love the work you do. What I am working on, is separating my work life and personal life. Make an effort to leave work where it is. You have one life to live so make it amazing as f*ck.
- Honest communication is the key! I know I said it before, but you have to be honest in your relationships. If there is something that bothers you, speak up. Don’t let it boil and fester, it will create more issues in the long run. Understand that no matter how much it might hurt, be open and honest with your SO – even if that means breaking up. Ultimately, honesty will keep your relationship growing for the long term.
- Protect your privacy. I’m a venter, I have trouble with keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself. When the struggle is real and you need to vent, have a close friend to be there for you. The entire world does not need to know your f*cking issues. Keep who you vent to at a minimum, then you won’t feel the need to explain yourself – that is a no-no.
- Sh*t ain’t easy. Relationships take work – hard work from both sides. Yes, there will be excitement, spontaneity, and laughs, but there will also be disagreements, stagnancy, and routine. This is all normal, but avoid the latter. Be willing to work on creating more fun and adventure – it won’t be all the time, but it will give you both stories and memories with one another.
- #RelationshipGoals. Stop worrying about everyone else’s relationships. Stop comparing you current relationships to your last. Make room for your relationship to grow and have your own set of goals together. A couple that grinds together, shines together. Point blank period.
- If your parents are in your life, whether its one, two, or maybe you have five, love them to the end! They may not be perfect and have quirks but remember they are your parents. They did the best they KNEW how to do to care for you, support you, celebrate with you, punish you, feel with you. I never really held this so high until a great friend of mine lost her mother. If you have a parent in your life, put aside your grudges, let go of their mistakes and love them with no condition. I’ve watched people through the year lose their parents and wish they had that extra day, that extra “I love you,” that extra chance. Love them with no condition.
- Set boundaries on toxic family members. No one has time for toxic family members. If they are putting you down, making you feel like sh*t, gossiping on your name, then they need to go. Silence is the best answer to toxic family members.
- Take advantage of the family that does inspire and build you up. I have a close knit group of family members that make going home to visit worth every bit of it! It’s the perfect time for refreshing and connecting with my ties. I take advantage of every opportunity I have at home to spoil the sh*t out of my sister, take my parents on dates, see my baby cousins and big cousins, and visit with my amazing aunts!
It is 2018! Make the most of your 2018. You will make mistakes, make memories, build friendships, get in tune with yourself, love yourself that much more, rid of toxic relationships, cry, you will think you lost and get back up again. 2018 will severely pop for you.
So here’s to your new year! (Clink)*